Ok I know this is a lil long, but I am looking for some feed back. I would
appreciate any comments.

After our fight
My days aren't bright
All I can do is cry and cry
It's almost as my eyes wont dry
The frienship we had
The love that I lost
We both made a mistake
But I paid the cost
I understand that I treated you poor
And now you are hurt
And oh-so-sore
I treated you bad
And now you are mad
Our friendship is over
And I take the blame
A big gust of wind
Came and blew out our flame
No amount of love can mend
A boy's broken heart
And even if it could
I wouldn't know where to start
My feelings will be set aside
If I could only tend to yours
I know you need some space
But no one can take your place
Out memories together
Will stay with me forever
Like camping with your family
And trying to fish in the lake
Teaching me to ride the motorcycle
And me scaring you to death
Gathering wood in your big-ol' truck
And backing down those cliffs
I swear I almost wet myself
And oh boy don't get me started
On your brother in that tent
And his air matress,
WHAT A WHIMP!!!
And yes that tent was nasty
But I was just content
To b spending a summer weekend
Away from the hell of the guys
And with someone who cared
You made me feel loved
As we stared up at the stars
I leaned in a kissed you
And that might of been wrong
But at the time it felt right
The mutual feeling was strong
We cuddled at night
As we drifted to sleep
And awoke next to each other
As if we were lovers
I can understand that you cared alot
And my love didn't always show
But that doesn't mean
That it wasn't always there
I wanted you bad
But you just didn't jump
Josh moved in
And swept me away
If he hadn't of moved in
(Or you would of first)
We'd probably be together today
I guess what I'm saying
And please believe this is true
As long as we are living...
I'll love you!

Please tell me what you think. I have caught a lot of flack from my poetry
teacher and he told me if I could find 5 ameture/not pro poets that like it
then he will except it as my mid term paper. So be honest but please I need
opinions.
Ashley

 
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