_Dying Inside_

I feel as if im dying inside.
I dont know who to trust anymore.
I'm hearing whispers behind my back.
Its the feeling that I felt before.
I dont know if you are my friend
or my enemy.
Everyone looks the same
to me.
You tell me you'd never say
What i think you say
But something tells me
That im not okay.
I am a failure.
I've dissapointed you.
I dont fit in
the way I'm supposed to.
I cant do what you ask of me.
I'm not what you wanted me to be.
I'm screaming for someone hear.
But it seems no one is anywhere near.
I wish you could see how much i love you.
How much I try to be what you want me to.
I want you to love me back.
But i cant help the way I act.
I'm blinded by my tears.
Paralyized by my fears.
Please dont leave me here
Dont you know I hold you so dear.
I cant explain the way i feel.
You seem to make my wounds heal.
But they are starting to bleed again.
And the fighting is about to begin.
Save me, I am so weak.
Please say you are the guardian that I seek.
The one i dont need to impress.
Who doesnt care if i'm a mess.
Tell me you will hold me,
As I wither away.
I'm dying from the inside out.
But at least you are here today.

-By Abi Rein © 2004

 
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